vagabonded soul's Journal

9:44AM - what a change

What a difference one year can make... I am now 19 years old... and I have a son... nothing that I had planned went on to become a reality... I guess life is unexpected...
Iam living at my dads.. I have a boyfriend who is 16 years older than me... and I am falling maddley in love... I plan to move back to florida eventually... I have my GED and a job at this place called Caffe' de Mello... it is in the Quarter at the begenning of Decatur St right across the street from the french market... I get 6 an hr and avrage out to almost 11 per hr in tips... that is about 17per hr job... lol wooottt!!!

I will post more later... I need to start picking up where I left off...

Krystyn

11:39PM

so it has been long since my last post here... I use twilightskys much more than anything to post. I miss my friends. I want to go out. I want to be me again...

11:57PM

off to new orleans i go... joy oh joy. Chris and I are no longer. :( I miss him already.

1:25PM

I went out yesterday with val after sleeping til like 1:30. I went to work at the vets with her... they had tis dog that rolled over... it was great. I went to the mall w/ val and kc... ran into all kinds of stupid people other than martin... we went to eat sushi at aoba and none of them ate other than martin. I started my period. Chris brought me home about 12:30 and slep for about half an hour(he needed it). around 2 my friend called and asked if i would like to go hang out, and then they were trying to get me to smoke pot with them. I got home about 5am. I went to sleep and here I am now. I mis chris and cant wait for him to come and visit. Tomorrow is SBS!!! Yay... I need a new icon for my journal... arg.

6:00PM

ok... finaly... I have a job. I am going to work for disney... OH JOY... I need to go to school for at least another month before I can take my GED(moms rules) after I get my GED I am going to apply for Financial Aid and then apply to FULSAIL!!! I can't wait... The job for the car, and the car for school. I have it all planned out. I will then have to put disney on the side for school... due to the fact that it is 40+ hours a week... any ways, Amanda is out of the ball park and Chris and I are doing fine. His mom is who I am woried about... she is slipping deeper and deeper into depression and it sucks to see that happen. She is really a great person. Brians mom told me that she was going to put me on the list for the gate... who ha!!! Every week now amy paul jenn and i are going to AOBA to eat sushi. TJ likes Jenn... which is so verry funny due to the fact that he is married. I am having a party some time soon. I am going to have live DJs and a bunch of people... 10$ per head. I had like 5 shotts today... I went to the Dr thinking I had only one to be gotten, but nope 5. I return to school in the morning. fun fun fun. I miss Chris and hope that Joy doesn't call him today or tomorrow. whatever... well i gotta go.

10:58AM

ok... I am tired of the shit with paul sandy sara karl ian and everyone else... if you are not my friend leave me alone... just pretend that I am non-exsistant... I am from canada right??? so what is the fucking problem!!! Leave my life alone and stay out of it...
"FUCK THE DRAMA"-sara
You are putting yourself in the middle of it... you bring apon yourself the "drama" as do I, but I am asking for it to stop... If you cannot respect that FUCK OFF!!!

9:42PM

ok... um, my life is going pretty good for the moment. All of my classes are good... started back today.
1. world religon/holocaust
2. american history
3. english 3 honors
4. anat. phys. honers
i don't like my lunch tho. I figure i will survive tho. i am going to have fun tomorrow... going to eat sushi... yay. lalalalala.
bye for now.

12:03AM

I am at home and hanging with Chris. I had a bad day, but soon it will get better. Oh, also... eric, I did not state that mum was indie rock... I had stated that my cousin had introduced me to it...

5:30PM

ok... christmas... it sucks. i had an ok yule, except for the fact that my mom decided to kick me out and somehow i find myself back here again. i hope that live drama rpg is soon. i am really looking forward to it. i am going to the hot hot heat show in miami for friday. yay. i really like the hot hot heat. i guess i owe an explination for my whole indie rock fasination. about 8 months ago a guy named eric started telling me of different bands. i started downloading and i found i liked them. certain bands my cousin stephen had introduced me to a very long time ago, such as mum, pedro the lion, audio karatie, and hot water music. i don't know. i do like it a lot tho.

5:00PM

I am having a problem... I have been really weird lately. I have somehow developed a fear of people harming me. I was put into a situation where I had been around a crowd of people I didn't know... I totally freaked out.

Any how... I am having a party, and I don't know if I can deal with the ammount of people in my house. I have invited ian drew paul sandy brian jason jason tristian james daniel kevin andrae victor chris andria tim jim sara paul nicole tina arcie tom rob dan mike jackie cody chrissy and a bunch of others. as far as I have been told all of them with an exception of like 3 are going to show, not including the friends of theirs.

I always over do myself. Maybe if I get drunk enough my problem will ceace to exsist.

I also wanted to add that since I am from canada, and canada does not exsist, I do not exsist... hmmmm. funny.

3:26PM

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

sometimes these things are totally accurate... I feel like curling up and dieing...
but that is a typical abbster. I have long missed this feeling of hopelessness.

7:41PM

I went to school after pulling an all nighter around the house... I put up the lights outside, the tree inside, the candels... everything... all I need now is the mistletoe. I don't know why I try during the holidays... I end up doing the same thing every year, I spend it alone. I came home around 10:30 from school... I am not emotionally well today. I have felt really suicidal all week. I am going to a party on saturday... this chick named Sandy that came to mine is having a sleep over... guys, girls, drugs, licquer, 24 hrs... hm... sounds good to me. I just want to od... i want to OD and die.

12:29AM

My day sucked... I have been somewhat down lately... I don't know why, and I guess I don't want to know why. I can't sleep.

12:02PM

I am at school... I hate school... arg. My only ammusment is the chatter of my party on Saturday night... word gets around fast. Hmmm... I want some vodka.

8:27PM

I had another one of my partys... the biggest one yet... I invited a few of my friends and then james brought like 20 others. We had a guy tweeking really bad from whatever he took before he smoked some pot. We had his g/f drive him to the hospital. I drank a lot before that, but the incident sobered me up. I made out with 5 different chicks, that was interesting. I guess it was good. I liked the people, yet I got dumped again. I was invited to get together and get messed up again this weekend. I think I might go.

7:40PM

6:43PM

Subconscious Wanting

If you were given a choice between a brief moment of happiness and a lifetime of miseries, which would you, chose?

In all integrity we are all given that choice in being. My clarification is this; in every verdict that we as human beings formulate we are at a crossroad. The only hold is that when we chose the joy over the misery we are always faced with another choice that can turn the tables, and vice versa… yet we are again ultimately positioned at our inauguration state of sentiment. All actions are subliminal decisions that we make. If we were put in dejected positions all of our lives, you would think we’d subconsciously go for the contentment, however we do not. We are putting ourselves in the positions to get hurt, to be confused and to suffer, to be loved, heard clear, and happy all subconsciously because it is what we have acknowledged all of our lives.

It has been proven many times that our bodies reject the unfamiliar; it has also been proven with subconscious wanting. I find that this circumstance is one that applies to the detail.

I am at a position that I have been upset all of my life and covet for gladness because of it. At this time I am striving to overcome the involuntary decisions that I make to enhance my likelihood for happiness.

6:38PM

I haven't posted for a few days, but I have been quite buissy... I got my nose pierced, I am planning a party, and I have been writing... I will post my writings a bit later... I joined a new community today... the tatu community. I guess that is all for now.

8:22PM

I am never going to have kids... yuck no way.

8:22PM

I am never going to have kids... yuck no way.